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Letter To God, Day Six (07/23/2024)

Updated: Aug 2, 2024


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Dear God, 

Why? I made a promise with you, and you broke it. This doesn't help me repair my relationship with you.  If anything, it makes me doubt more. Do you listen when I speak? Do you listen when I plead? Do you listen when I ask? "ask, and it will be given," except that hasn't been the case with you and me. I look around and wonder what lesson you're trying to teach me, and I don't see anything. You betrayed what little trust I had in you. 

I'm listening to Tasbeha right now, and I feel empty, dull, and tired. Usually, Tasbaha makes me feel as if I'm in heaven. I feel as if I'm sitting on a cloud talking to you. Except now, the Coptic is just background noise that I have memorized. I used to never be able to stay quiet during Tasbeha, but now I have to force myself to try and sing along. 

I don't know what to do anymore. I'm tired. I'm lost. I need you. Or do I? 

Love, a confused daughter

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