Letter To Gido, Day Five (07/22/2024)

Dear Gido, 

For the past few days, I've been sleeping with a picture of you next to me. I miss our sleepovers. I remember our last one so well. It was in your new house that you got, so we can move to NC and live with you. The house needed to be furnished, but there was a room for Teta and your room. Everyone was afraid of sleeping next to you because they could accidentally kick you and hurt you. They also always wanted you to have your space to yourself out of respect. But I didn't care. When I was little, I would sleep next to you. I wanted that again. I didn't know when I'd get the chance to do it again. So I jumped up and down and clearly stated that I was sleeping beside you. When we got to your room, I asked which side of the bed you preferred. You gave me the side you loved because you thought it was the best side. And then we laid down and talked. You told me to keep making you proud. I told you I loved you, and we said goodnight.

I'm not sure how many times I woke up that night to make sure I didn't hurt you. I usually turn and kick, but I didn't move a muscle that night, and yet, I somehow got the best sleep of my life, knowing my best friend was right next to me. When I woke up, you were awake watching Netflix. The volume was at zero because you were afraid to wake me. I remember telling you I'm a heavy sleeper and would have been okay, but you insisted that you like watching without the sound. Then you took your mod day nap, and it looked like you weren't breathing. I still remember that feeling. It was the scariest thing in my life. I prayed that I would still find your pulse, and surely enough, I did. I remember feeling relieved as I woke you up to ensure you felt okay. Now, all I can do is sleep next to your picture. At least now, we will always have a sleepover like when I was a child. I miss you. I love you. I'm in pain, but at least you are not. 

Love, Your Tata.