He called me out on my pettiness

Something happened last week that’s been on my mind constantly.

There were two events I expected to be invited to. I wasn’t. For days it ate at me.

Why wasn’t I invited? Am I doing something wrong? Do I think we’re closer than we are?

Today, I talked to my friend Paul about it. I told him I was done. I said I wouldn’t keep putting more effort into friendships than I receive. That I wouldn’t invite those people to my events anymore. That I wouldn’t hold them as close—because I felt disrespected, maybe even unappreciated.

Same day.

Later this evening, I opened my Bible to do my spiritual rule. And I laughed. I actually laughed out loud. Looked up and said, “You’re silly.”

—

I’ve always been told:

Prayer is when you talk to God. Reading the Bible is when He talks to you.

I believed it. But I never really witnessed it.

It always felt like something only really spiritual people could say happened to them—

Or maybe just something they told us to get us to read.

My relationship with God—at this level—is new. Just a few months old. And in this growing relationship, I’m working on a lot. One of the biggest things: learning to do my spiritual rule because I want to, not because I have to.

So today, when I willingly opened my Bible to do my canon reading, I read Luke 14. And I laughed.

He answered.

He told me—literally told me—

“When you give a banquet, do not invite those who will invite you back.”

“Invite those who cannot repay you.”

“You will be blessed.”

“You will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”

(Luke 14:12–14)

He actually responded to what had been on my heart all week. He called out my pettiness. And I was so seen.

Every day now, I see something new that reminds me He’s real. That He listens. That He responds.

Every day, I feel His love and His grace.

Every day, I am filled with peace and with joy.

I share this because there was a time in my life when I thought all of this was just talk. Just habits. Just routine.

I share this because when I lost my grandpa, I felt like God didn’t hear me. Like maybe He didn’t care.

But now?

He’s loud and clear.

And I don’t want this to go anywhere.

I want this forever.