what is love?

Love is a strong word,

Though I don’t believe in it.

I’m tired of trying so hard,

Only to be unnoticed.

Will I ever be loved?

Though I don't believe in that word.

I crave happiness,

Yet I welcome pain.

I am a source of pain for others.

Sometimes I think,

Jumping off a bridge

Might be better for everyone.

I want to live

And fear death,

But it’s the biggest fear I welcome.

I’m tired.

Can I sleep and never wake?

Will anyone miss me?

Some days are filled with joy,

Others make me wonder if it was fake.

I say "I love you" often,

But what do I mean when I say it?

Why do I try to fix others

When I’m too broken to fix myself?

I carry too many responsibilities,

And in the end, I’m the one who falls.

I’m never doing enough.

Am I?